Featured Poem 2/23/03:

à la Seuss

Graeco-Seussian translator:
Annie Randall

Greek Chorus: In Athens town there’s not one man,
There’s War again—so off they ran.
Not son, nor dad, nor king nor cad,
And Lysistrata’s doggone mad!

So mad that now I’ve called you here
To sign a pact, my sisters dear!
They must love peace, the ones we wed,
Or with them we’ll NOT go to bed!

When they from Sparta’s fields take leave,
We’ll cook and sweep and wax and weave.
But if with us, they want to cuddle,
They must back out of this dire muddle.

Spartan Women: Worldwide, we wives will make a stand
Oh look! They’re here. That martial band.
Man #1: I love this war. I love this life.
But now I’m home… and there’s my wife!
Man #2: Oh sweetie! I have missed you so!
I think that now for love we’ll go.
Woman #1: I hate to act like grinch or grouch,
But you’re now sleeping on the couch.
Woman #2: Unless you sign and now disarm
The dog had better keep you warm.
Man #1: I could not, would not, sign this pact.
I cannot simply cease to act.
I’m man… I fight… and that’s a fact!
Woman #1: To cool this heat for slaughter vile
Go stand in icy shower awhile!
Man #2: Well… fight I shall! and fight I must!
I’m certain that our cause is just!
Woman #2: Fine. If you’re so high and mighty,
You’ll not see me again in nightie,
To this I swear on Aphrodite!

Man #3:
What do you want, oh heartless wife?
Cash? The vote? A jewel? My life?!
On knee I bend, on knee I plead,
Oh, can we just once do the deed?
Lysistrata: You rant and rage and curse and whine,
Oh partner darling, husband mine.
Those threats from you are wrongful too!
Of peaceful bent there’s not a sign.
So bent you’ll be, and bent you’ll stay.
You simply now must stay away!
For days, for weeks, for months, for years.
Your credit’s gone… you’re in arrears!
Woman #1: Not kiss nor pat, not pet nor snug.
Your little blankie’s on the rug!
Man #1: I can’t believe these wives so cruel,
So hard, so cold… so sweet… I drool.
Oh well; though I’ll be called a fool,
I’ll henceforth say that “Peace is cool!”
Man #2: I’ll sign the pact; I’ll quit the war!
Man #3: I’ll sign and quit, I’ll fight no more!
Spartan Men: I love you most! UNLOCK THE DOOR!
Greek Chorus: The couriers are here from Sparta,
Also Baghdad and Djakarta.
They gather here in our Acropolis
From Munich, Minsk, and Minnne-o-polis.
At last!!! An end to War and fights!
It’s Peace… and Love… Turn off the lights!

© 2003 Annie Randall

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