Tenaya
Darlington lives in Madison and writes for Isthmus. Her poetry book,
Madame Deluxe, winner of the National Poetry Series, is available
at Canterbury Booksellers. She has been previously published in the
Atlanta Review, Beloit Poetry Journal, and Southern Poetry Review.
THE
STUDENT ASKS THE POET BASHO:
WHAT IS VICTORIA'S SECRET?
Eight pairs
of sexy panties
so many pathways
to the cherry tree.
The bamboo
has two new shoots:
my lover's spaghetti straps.
Tonight to
drown my longing
I drink sake
from her seamless cups.
White birches
along the water.
Women in matching coordinates.
In this world
there are straw sandals.
Then there are bedroom slippers.
Our time on
earth
high-cut brief.
From this planet
the stars only come
in small and extra small.
The crows lift
from the limbs.
Take off
your black
thong.
Out of loneliness,
I try on
your blackberry brassiere.
• • •
•
•
MADAME DELUXE'S
INSTRUCTIONAL MANUAL
AND MARRIAGE GUIDE for the Year 2000
Q. Why does
my husband overheat?
A. When your husband is plugged into a wall outlet for his first
time or when you resume power after a power
interruption,
his head may become temporarily scrambled and
fail to
function as programmed. Unplug him from the
wall socket
and then plug him back in. He will be resexed
for functioning.
Q. Why do I
see a reflection around my wife's outer case?
A. The light is from a bulb located inside her birth cavity.
Do not use this cavity for storage purposes.
Do not store
combustible items such as bread, cookies, or
paper products
inside her. If lightning strikes the power line,
she may turn
on by herself.
Q. Why does
my husband burst?
A. Your husband may be slightly heavier than others, or he
may burst due to steam buildup inside his adam's
apple,
causing his head to swell and expand during
the thought
process. Steam is naturally produced during
talking. If
you're concerned, simply pierce his tongue with
a
toothpick while he is sleeping.
Q. Why does
my wife pop?
A. This is caused by her temper. As she becomes angry, she
conducts heat and her insides continue cooking
during
standing time. Use a larger utensil than usual
and wear
oven mitts to remove her.
Q. How do I
know if I'm using my husband properly?
A. This type of husband is specifically designed to heat, cook,
and collect food. He is not designed for industrial
purposes
or laboratory use.
Q. How do I
know if I am using my wife correctly?
A. As with most appliances, close supervision is necessary
to reduce the risk of a fire in her internal
cavity. Do not
store her outdoors. Do not use your wife near
water, near
a kitchen sink, in a wet basement, and the like.
Do not
let her cord hang over the edge of the table.
Q. What is wrong
when our marriage has no spark?
A. There may be several reasons why your marriage
has lost its glow:
1. The light bulb
has burned out.
2. START
has not been touched.
•
• • •
•
TO TASTE
It should really
have its own set of legs.
If not legs, then cilia.
There should be some sort of sheath or a thin piece of paper
To keep it from touching the roof of the mouth.
It should sit like a leaf on its bed of teeth or be a decorative
beetle pinned to bluish tissue.
It should not look like the inner tube of a plum.
When it turns blue, it should be removed like a petal.
In the mirror, it should not try to touch the nose, or pose as
an unborn thumb.
It should not have the caption, "pluck me, pluck me."
When it licks a stamp, it should not move like a slug pining
for dew.
When used as an implement for licking the lip, it should not
repeat itself.
Delis should not serve them.
Vegetarians should be exempt from having them at all.
It should fold up like a bath mat stored in the corner.
It should come in other colors and thinner thicknesses.
It should keep to the other cheek during literary references,
And only come out at night.